I’ve asked a few people recently about the topic of Surrender and what they think it means. The responses were somewhat varied, as was to be expected. A couple people said that it means “to give up,” and another said, “to embrace powerlessness.” The conversations that followed were wide and deep, and by the end of it, we all had a more profound understanding of what Surrender is, and just how powerful it can actually be.
The reason I started these discussions was to explore a distinction I learned once, and to see if others were open to exploring that distinction as well. I had recently received an email from a friend who was taking things personally and feeling frustrated with her husband over little things like not having the dishes done when she got home with the groceries. She wanted to grow from the experience, rather than just vent, so we began to chat, and this was my response to her after I had given it some thought and revisited that distinction I had learned long ago, which I think is relevant to all of us who have struggled with the feeling of powerlessness:
“You wrote, “I’m trying to embrace powerlessness with things I can’t control, and now I’m beginning to feel powerless with myself in general”… If we start with that, then I’d tell you that I believe that there is power in words. “In the beginning, there was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God…” (and whether you study the bible or not, this is a very powerful phrase.) Words are vehicles of intention, and through them, we manifest our reality. With that, it makes sense that you would begin to feel powerless with yourself as well, because you’ve just stated (with your words) that you are embracing powerlessness!
I think this also ties into your taking things personally with your husband, because if you are feeling powerless, you are describing an experience of being out of control (and we all like control!)… When we feel out of control, we get scared, upset, or angry, or sad, we tend to look outside of ourselves to others to make us feel happy again. And then, when they don’t fulfill our expectations, we think, “Ugh! He knows I like it when XYZ, and I’m having a rough day, so he should just know to do XYZ to help me feel better! But he isn’t doing it, so he must not really care… And now I’m frustrated.”
It’s a downward spiral… But luckily, I think there are ways to mitigate it and shift into a higher vibration.
Since wording is everything, your shift in perspective could lie there… As opposed to saying that you are “embracing powerlessness”, how about re-framing what I think you are trying to get at and use a more intentional word, like Surrender.
When I say surrender, I do not mean to say “to give up”. Instead, the distinction I want to clarify is to begin to see Surrender as “to allow, yield, or give way”. It is an act of allowing… If you are following me, I think you might see the difference between that and powerlessness, yes?
When we are powerless, there is nothing we can possibly do to make things any other way than what they are. When we are Surrendered, we are allowing things to be as they are.
See the difference?
In Surrendering, if you give it a moment’s thought, you will suddenly see that you are actually Being Powerful! This is because, in Surrender, you are exercising the Choice of allowing, and when we exercise Choice, it is always from our most powerful place of Beingness, because in that space, we acknowledge ourselves as Creative (of the ability to create) Beings. When we exercise Choice, we are literally sculpting our reality moment by moment. We have Choice in where we focus our minds, where we point our eyes, what things we say to ourselves inside our minds… The possibilities are infinite…. And when possibilities are infinite for a Creative Being such as we are, then we are in fact quite the opposite of powerless- We are indeed powerful beyond measure.
I like the analogy of life as a roller-coaster. Not just because of the obvious “we all have ups and downs, sometimes it’s fun, and sometimes it’s scary…” But because in stepping back a bit, I realize that if life is like a roller-coaster, then I’m the one who went to the theme park, bought a ticket, and strapped myself in for it… And from that space of ownership, I see that I chose every single second of this ride… I am powerful! I chose to be here!
With that, I feel a little less despair in the scary and frustrating moments, a little less angry with the small annoyances, because after all, I must be one hell of a manifestor to create half of the things I’ve experienced! And since I chose these experiences, I must have done so in order to learn and grow, so why be angry with myself for that?
What’s that saying again?… “Ahhhh, sweet surrender…”
Yep- That’s the stuff.”